Love Is

How does any one person know what love really is? I mean people try to explain this human emotion as the strongest, most magical thing anyone has ever received or encountered. Is there one feeling that we can associate to love? like we associate the feelings of anger and jealousy? or is it true. Love is the one magical thing this world has to offer.

My interpretation of this four letter word confuses me, because, to me, there are so many different levels of it. there is family love, friend love, and romantic love. And the word is thrown around so loosely now a days that i think the meaning has truly been lost. I'm guilty of it as well, as i do throw it around. But that, again, is my point. How does one know there are in love with that said person. Do they know when they cannot seem to be separated from them? Do they know when they look at said person and there heart seems to descend out of their body? I don't actually know and my inquisitive mind is longing to find out.

A girl I know, told me that love is about trust, and if you can trust this person fully you must love them, which i think is a legitimate example of what love could be. but then Saleh said something that almost made me wanna cry and it was" Love is many things to me. Love is when two people can look at each other for an hour without breaking their smiles. Love is the ability to erase all negative emotions within oneself just at the sight of their special someone. Love is the true longing to never be separated from that special someone.

But most importantly, love is the feeling you get when your heart comes alive, when it becomes more noticeable than anything around you or inside you, all due to the heavenly thoughts about that special someone."

As i read this im thinking this could be true, but so could a world of other possibilities just waiting to be discovered. And hopefully when it is, there wont be word to describe it or question it. because according to J.K Rowling. love is the greatest protector in the world. Love Conquers all. I just hope it lives up to the hype.

thats all for now, xoxo.

Kait

Bones Shatter

Well this is officially the last friday of summer :(. And as of Tuesday, I will be back at Dundas, Doing classes Ive already completed. Doing the same things over and over again, well most of my friends are off at university, having fun., and living university lives. And me, back at Dundas being a failure. And I know. Im complaining, and i don't really care, I have a blog therefore I am a selfish person. And i want people to feel good about themselves for reading this..
Henceforth, Ive been feeling like my life, as of the moment, is stuck on pause. It's like I'm just waiting for something big to happen, so that I can finally wake up, and realize what around me is exactly going on. I know, this sounds like stupid teenage drama, and in one fact it is, and in one fact, it could be me, finally telling the world how obbsessive compulsive I can be with the people and the things happening around me. Aren't I awesome at hiding things..

So i started this entry yesterday, and today, saturday, some of my best friends moved into residence, starting the rest of thier lives. And, I'm at home, living vicariously through them, In hopes that next year, i will be right there with them, sharing the joy, and experience. Although, i will be a year older than basically everyone starting... Oh well, right. Suck it up princess as my friend Josh would say.. Suck It Up. Basically, what I've been doing with everyone. ALL the time. Sucking it up, Sucking up thier lies, their insults. Sucking up thier problems, whilst putting mine aside waiting for the right person to come along to tell them too. And here i am... still waiting.. being on pause...for how long. i dont really know.

Thanks for listening.. whoever actually still reads this...
Kait <3

Unanswered Prayers

A higher power is known to basically all religious forms of humanity, and because of this we go through life filling our heads with the fickle realization that maybe, after this is all over, it gets better. Whether we walk down gold streets or we sit and talk with our deceased love ones. I guess in once sence Heaven is whatever paradise you believe it to be...
I think the thing with God, or the lord, is that he wants to be with you, constantly, and he equally wants you to be with him as well, I guess what my big issue is that how do you believe in said higher power, or better yet how do you know what it is? And if it is a legit thing, how could you possibly know what it wants you to do? and what if you're not listening close enough to the spirited world that you lose your ticket, your one and only way to the individual paradise?
These questions have brought me to think about death, and life. To wonder if because i havnt listened, or prayed, or went to church, that there is no after life for me, about a week and a half ago i was sitting lisetning to a girl talk about Jesus Christ, she is talking about beliefs. Beliefs to work for him, and in my own opinion God, the holy father, should technically not want to be the boss of any of his "children" ( and what kind of father lets his children fornicate ahah jk jk) I think that he should not want to have "workers" to spread his name.
Although we are his sheep in the pasture, it says is the book of phillip... to beware of the dogs, and the things that go bump in the night. We should protect our virtues, to keep them away from these metaphorical dogs ( being sins). This sort of thing makes you that you should sit back and wonder to yourself if you are doing everything correctly. And what I think that to be human you need to make mistakes. you needn't always protect your virtues.
Personally, It is hard to think that god is not at any part human, or taking human form, because he can get into your head, know everyting, and hear your prayers. sometimes he just chooses not to answer. And why is God always a guy? maybe he is both. OR a whole new breed. neither male nor female! But most importantly, no human could forgive that much anger, hatred, and disrespect. It would either simply not care what anyone did, or it would build up so much angst that me would eventually blow up.
That is mostly my thoughts about this whole god thing. till next time.
Kait <3

Fast Cars and Freedom

Well School is Done and I am an OFFICIAL high school grad! yay me. Although i Failed Chemistry it's been a good run, in my opinion. I know that I can be Annoying, dellusional,awesome, crazy,nd many other things. Also, I have been known for drama to follow me around EVERYWHERE. But, hey i Made life interesting. Now, I am going back to school, in the fall, But I Suspect most of my free time will be spent at Ottawa U. as all my besties are attending there. With my usual visit to Queens of course. To see my Beloved Jesse, and Laurena! haha. Well I suspect My GPA will be substanially low this year. As I am Stupid. haha

OMG OMG OMG! My party is in like ONE FLIPPING DAY! ahh, i cant fathom this. It is going to be SUPER AWESOME! of course whomever is way cool enough to want to come is for sure allowed. Its going to be awesome and a half.

But i really have nothing else to write. exceot for that Im FREE!!!

The Way I Loved You

Have you ever been so agitated that you wish you could break out of your usual semi-conservaive shell and smack the person in the face? Well that was me today! I have no idea what I EVER saw in him. He's just such a dick, and i don't wanna ruin things with three days left, or maybe it's just that he's stressed or I'm stressed but I'm Pissed. Being mean as a joke is good and fun, but then it turns not funny, and just completely insulting. And who are you to tell me I can't do things which educated people in the subject have told me I can. God, you just make me angry to the point where I want to shoot you. but I will not, because of history and stuff, but If you are not careful I may just do something. I don't know what yet. But the delusional person within me wants to rip the hair out of your head. So i thought Id write this charming paragraph. just to let off a little steam, and now we can go back to studying! Pieces out!

<3 id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Kait

P.S But I miss screamin' and fightin' And kissin' in the rain And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name You're so in love that you act insane And that's the way I loved you Breakin' down and comin' undone It's a roller-coaster kinda rush And I never knew I could feel that much And that's the way I loved you.....Taylor Swift ( the Way I loved You )

Expectations

Life has a certain type of expectation being that in our society you have to live up to it. By that i mean you should get good grades throughout school, get a good job, get married, and have a family but, the truth is that not everyone will do this, in fact a fair percentage do not get married, or have kids, and there are a lot of bums out there, and that is just life. You never know what it will throw at you next. Only being 17, i do not know all the answers, as i would like to, but from my tiny, insignificant opinion, you have to overcome these "boulders" that may be coming right at you. And the hard part in rising up is actually finding the strenghth to do do just that. For me it would be chemistry. I'm fairly sure I'm going to fail, and for me, thats the scariest thing that could ever happen to me, Failing. I am afraid of faliure and have often said that i dont know if i could survive something major like failing that class. and to be honest i still dont know if i can.
Then there are the stupid, petty things, like the thing i found out today, and i was surprized at the fact that it made me extremely sad. Like to the point of tears. And i have no idea why. and I guess its just one more thing to prove that my dillusional self should go along pretending that it doesnt hurt, when it truth it does. But to the person that i know is gunna comment on this. I am sorry i lied in that fact, but there is no use crying over spilt milk, and its not like your gunna apologize, and its not like i expect you to apologize because the fact of the matter is none of it was mine, nor, did i want it to be. I guess Im just jealous to the point where you won, or you got what i never could. and whatever.
But, as i dont feel so hott right now im gunna jet. peace out!

Kait

Boom Boom Pow

Well as we all now, last weekend was prom weekend and it was a blast, with all the promness of the subject. we started off the night at 4 30, and left for prom in the stretch limosine from my house, In my limo there was, Myself, My sister, Jessie, Leigh, Josh, Shelby, Laurena, and uhh jessica. we had a bottle of 80 dollar champagne, from the bestest "adult" ever, john orton, of whom i love dearly. although, i dont like champange, i drank half a glass, and hoped for the best. We arrived at Stanley's Olde Maple Farm at around 5. i think it was 5.03 when i looked at my phone. but anyways we arrived to see our lovely friends on the balcony. They, of course, are the first we went to see. We walked up the steps, all looking absolutley gorgeous ( in joshs case handsome) to see these stunning humans in front of us. The stood, Ian, Lee, Erik, Rebeckah, Mersa, and chris. all looking breath taking of course. And Ian, i forgot to tell you that you clean up very well. In all it was awesome, and almost makes me cry thinking this is my last year with theses wonderful people. We took a KAZILLION pictures to please my mother and other endless waiting parents. then the whole group of graduates took a shot together. and we went in for dinner, in which we ate, chicken potatoes, and corn, and THE POTATOES WERE FAKE! jeeze. umm, then there was a dance.
Now for the fun stuff. PROM PARTY! we left prom at 11 and went home to change. we dropped our stuff at huttens, around midnight, and headed off to prom party. which was AMAZING! about 350 people showed up. and i was keeping track of a fully "loaded" christian wininger. whom was insanly drunk! Erik then came to pick us up at 2.30, but we did not leave until about 4 am. thanx to jessie and leigh. but if it wasnt for CRAZY DRUNK SUPPOSED FRIENDS! It wouldve been better. but i got her did. and had a blast. and i got over that certain someone whom i was for some unknown reason holding on to, he can do what with whomever he wants and i wont care. unless its a grade 9. then i might!. umm, then we left at 8 the next morning, to head up to Eagle Lake for the Cottage. The Huttens cottage!
This was a fun event for everyone who attended. Lee and Mersa, we found out, are vvery lovey drunks, bruce bronze is just cool, Erik and Becca are a great couple. Leigh and Jessie are wonderful best friends. Creepy james really ISNT that bad, and neither is V. Saleh, dissapears in the night and sleeps with dead babies, Alex Howarth can apparantly handel 4 coolers, but not ONE beer, Devon is funny as hell, Shelby is a sweetheart. Josh is my legit awesome, wonderfull BFF, and Ian, well Ian, is a homosexual. haha. Jk ( not really) ian is a great person!
As for Hans and Colette. They are tres awesome parents! and everyone had a blast! and the lake was SOOO cold!
All in all an awesome weekend! SO awesome in fact i blogged about it. And next weekend will hopefully be just as awesome! cause it will. BERSETHS! WOO HOO! COME GUYS! but *Yawns* that's my cue to exit! night
Kait <3

No Boundries

I have always known i loved the thught of complete and udder freedom, but in one way I'm also completely scared of it. Today, i went to Inkerman Public Schools final celebration. This is because they are closing this year, so myself, my mother, and my sister joined us at inkerman. I must say it was a very, very sad time. Myself, Kristie ( my sis ), and Thomas Giles, walked to old spooky, which is this tree that has been there for ages, and everyone calls it "old Spooky" and while I'm walking all around this property which was my home from 1995-2003, I was thinking, It was the end of an era when i left here, oh so many years ago, and this is one way makes me happy because, coming to the end of my high school career, I'm starting to think its gunna be ok. I think of myself back when i was so young, and laugh, and wonder why my mother let me leave the house the way i Looked. like OMG, it was terrible :P but enough of this..



So has anyone ever really thought about why rap has such a great following, I mean it shouldnt even be considered music. It is possibly the wors t thing i could ever hear. I mean the same with Screamo music, you dont even know what theyre saying. No im thinking that to have any connection with music at all, you at least be able to hear the words and sing along without needing a tonsil replacment by the end of your song. Honestly, someone tell me what the attration to rap or screamo is... I dont get it. jeeze.



Another thought to leave you with. So ive been reading a lot of fan fictions lately (http://www.fanfiction.net/) and I mean some of these people are really good! they are so descriptive and its hard to stay away from the site. Yes, i know you're thinking "what does she read on fan fiction?" or you could be asking yourself "why do I read this blog?" and the answer to the first one is twilight, and the second is because you simply love me! haha. so thats it for today sorry for not writing for a while! hugz and kisses!
Kait <3

Right Here

So as I sit here on my lovely blue couch, which is tres comfortable i've decided to take a break from working and chemistry to tell my three followers what is new and exciting this last weeks blog... Well not a hole lot.. wanna put some rumours down though (*cough*cough* Ian Cough*) I am not IN love with josh. I love him, just not in love. but other than that, we bffs.
So this weekend was fairly busy, I have went to three parties. On Friday I went to Kyle Mordy moving in party, Saturday I went to jessie D's surprize party, and the third was last night, and that was the Huttens (sunday night) as this is a long weekend we have no school today (monday) as it is Victoria day, and ALSO IS AWESOME CAUSE I HATE SCHOOL! haha. well I hate the working part, but I love the people there. As they are tres awesome.
So, recently I have decided I don't have a place where I actually fit in. Like, I have the friends and such, but i don't have a label, and your prolly thinking, well why am i worried about that. and the reason is b/c what if people don't remember me. and I find that hard, I want people to remember me. which I hope you all will!
So there's this boy, and i'm writing this to get my frustrations down, so don't get to hyped. I remember when we kissed i can still feel it in my lips, I remember the simple things. My biggest regret, the one i wish you'd forget is saying nothing at all. and You'd rather be with her, the other prettier girl, but She's taken. You can't simply let that go, and i have no idea why you can't. But, I guess it's the same for me. I'm as pathetic. and i know that, it's just I dont see what the problem is. i get that im not the orettiest girl on the street, but i think im kinda kool. and I guess the reason why i'm getting so worked up about this is because it took me so long to admit this thing for you to myself. That its like AHH and it makes me want to slap you. But I wont cause that would be to obvious. and im not that mean,but frig i wish you would take me to prom. BUT you wont, because you dont think of me like that.. whesther it be your friends advice, or your own thought, or it could be that girl you cant seem to get over. but whatever. I'm over it.
i guess that's all i should write today. Love you all!
<3 kait

P.S so not over it. and remember appearances can be deicving ( or words so dont jump to conclusions)

When I'm Quiet You Break Through My shell

This is to blog about my awesome cool friend Leigh! Leigh Alexandra Warren is one of the coolest people i know most of the time. She's in love with things such a her dalmation Joey, Guiseppi, Joesph, Yoseph, She loves the park ( Murphy's Point) and she lives to laugh. Leigh is the type of girl whom can make you smile when she wants to. She is definatley not afraid to speak her mind. Leigh puts up a hard shell outside and has a hard time letting people in. But when she does, you will figure out the kind caring person she is!
Leigh has a great personality that i am actually quite jealous of. She does what she wants and gemerally doesnt care what people think of her. She does what she thinks is best for her. For example, if she wants to have fun, she will, and nothing human can stop her, except for mom, but we work around that :P! Leigh is obsessed with jake and Amir ( college humour check em out!) Leighs obsessions dont tend to last to long. I remember this one time her flair account could not get more use.. Thus today, i have not recieved any flair. :(
Leigh is truly awesome and she tends to wear red to show how dignified she is. She holds herself well and makes you feel like you deserve to be there. She is truly legendary. and i Love her!

Now Josh Loucks. I promised I'd write a blog about you!
J-justified
O-Ostentatious
S- Shivalistic
H- humourous

josh you are these things and many more to me. You know the things that make me smile, and when i;m around you i feel like i truly shine. and your responsible for that. You give everyone this impression that you are a jackass, which in some cases you are, and you can definatley be stubborn. I just got him to use this brand new thing called a LAND LINE, but since his cell is fixed i'll have to start all over. Joshua Loucks you truly are my hero. and i LUH you alot!

Want me to write a blog about you?? comment!
<3 kait

Writers Block

So I have writers block, and i know its not the right term to describe it, BUT I cannot for the life of me figure what to blog about. I mean it could be about my day, and how its going so far, or about something actually intense like Politics. but as I know Ian may read these and critisize this so Im not gunna try. But, however, whatever, I will talk about the things people do that make me want to punch them in the face and laugh when they fall on the ground. I know it's harsh but come on! Firstly, when people park sideways in parking spots, I know what happened marissa, but come on. and when people walk through doors look at you with a cold stare and keep walking, without saying thank you. Thats makes me so mad. I'm there waiting fr you to walk through the door, and all you can do is walk past me like your better than I am, well maybe thats the truth, but when it comes to getting actual friends I'd kick your butt anyday. Thirdly, i absolutley hate it when people insult you and put it off as a joke. They ohh. they see you. and basically walk all over you for 2 years and you keep it up, then one day they decide they hate you and expect y ou to come back after everything. I also, hate people who are purposly ego tististical and expect you to fall in love with them just because they are in your presence. and hate your friend just because they think her VOICE is annoying. I mean she can't change that. Its a birth defect ( not that i dont like your voice hun) but frig.
But enough hating, as i am not a very hatefull person. I like a lot of things to. Starting with a certain person whom did not tease me like usual after a bad test mark ( really bad) and im not saying I like him romantically, but honestly it was sweet of him, and I was proud to be his friend at the time, so if your reading this thanks for not being a jack ass! luh you! haha. also. I really like my friends. you guys are great. I also love music. but lastly, I like this person, who is great. but I'm going to ball hockey! bye!

Prom Fantasy

*disclaimer: I'm not usually this corny*

I see you, in the laneway with all of our closest friends. i see the way your hair is perfectly messy and how your smile glints in the lowly declining light. Your turn around to face me. and that ever present sparkle in your eyes intensifies as you see me. You're happy to be here as you walk over to me and put that beautiful red corsage on my wrist. you give me a kiss on my cheek and lead me over to the trees where everyone seems to be. Theres flowers in my hair along with sparkly beads. I cant tell you are truly enjoying this as you take my hand and position for the endless pictures my mom will surely take. but you smile through them all, like a good sport. We get into the black, stretch limo with all of our friends, we crack open the bottle of champagne bought for us, even though i dont like it, ill have some to join in the festivities. We get there. you tell me i look beautiful. i tell you that you look almost worthy to be my date. but, truthfully, your just perfect. youre who i envision myself with.
We walk into the building, you pull a rose from a bouquet and hand it to me. and then we pose for pictures under the beautiful arc... we walk into the main lobby. and music is playing... I go off and talk with a couple girlfriends. and you walk over take my hand and lead me onto the dance floor. I am amazed by your transformation. Your being the Giant Teddy Bear i ALWAYS knew you were. You have this power over me. you can get me to do anything. your my cryptonite. I have this influence over you as well, i can calm you down you never seem to get mad at me. i tell you on the dance floor "this is the moment you fall in love with me, isn't it" and then i laugh, you look at me, hold me tighter and just smile. You lean down and gently press your lips against the nape of my neck, and whisper "maybe" in my ear. I smile the happiest smile i've ever had. i look into your deep brown eyes and lean in closer. I can smell the sweet scent of your breath... then slowly you kiss me, for the first time ever. and it felt like so long of time has passed. when only a few seconds have.. I look up at your face, and your smiling, happier then the one before. Every thing seems to be in place, to bad it's all over.

Survival

The textbook definition is to remain or continue in exsistence, but exsistance in what form exactly? You could exsist in memory or you could exsist in life. Today-- there are so many teenagers just walking around trying to survive high school. In my highschool though, there is a little bit of an imbalance, i mean you still have the jocks, the preps, the stoners, the geeks and then the nerds/anime. but, there its different, the people that mostly pick on other people are thier friends. and sometimes this can be a good/normal thing to do. then it goes to far, to far that you begin to no trust a person, to not be there for them, it becomes a raft floating aimlessly in an open ocean. and who's to say that this metaphorical raft can eventually find its way back to its normal place in the world, but what if its stuck in that one state for the rest of time until a tidal wave crashes down upon it and its feels like your sufficating and theres nothing to stop it, then you fade to nothingness, a state in which you can feel nothing. So i guess what im getting to is that you can survuve without actually living; you just have to be and its sad that the thought of death runs through everyones minds as an easy out, which it is,im not denying that fact.
I guess getting back to the fact that everyone can finds ways to survive its just the living part that everyone finds hard. like how can you honestly not be dead in a living state, aside from all the poor souls put on life support, (which would never be me) im just saying that everyone puts up a big hype about how theyre surviving, but what really needs to be done is the living. even to the point of hurt, but thats just emotions and humans feel right?

until next time,
kait

Nothing ever turns Out as planned. EVER

FUCKINGERIKCUMGUZZLINGDICKSUCKINGMUTHERFUCKINGASSHOLEPEICEOFSHITTRASHBAGSONOFABITCHDOUCHESLIMEBLOCKHEADEDFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's all Erik's fault >(

Erik Hutten wrote the above.

It was not as bad as night as i thought, i definatly should eat before drinking next time, i mean two coolers and i was gone :P but whatevs. btw boys are scary! cept for the cool ones (aka me) :P but im not actually a boy. i just say i am

My First Time... Blogging

so this is my first blog and I have to say that I got on to it from the kind (a.k.a weird people) over there a lucathla.blogspot.com. and i don't really know what to write about that will spark some interest among yous. but here we go. So today i was pondering away and what i was pondering about was how flippin' lazy i am, i procrastinate everything, and it's def. not a good thing. I mean homework, and chores, and on rare occasions eating. like i'll be sitting on the couch thinking "i'm hungry" and not wanting to get up to find something.
Also, im fairly sure my chemistry teach, M.M, has this evil little demon within his soul who loves to see me suffer. I mean he sits me beside Ian, and Lee, and Chloe, (aka all good friends) and expects me not to talk, when he KNOWS its all i do. like why. Oh, and when he marks my tests and i fail them i think he gets a hint of satisfaction when i fail, like a cat when it kills a bird, satisfaction from the death. In this case its the death of a students will to learn chemistry. but that could be one of those things i was born with.. oh well you can doubt genes right?
So today i went and got an x-ray on my wrist ( doctor injected cortisone into it and now it hurts ALOT) and i went there and the Radiologist that took my x-ray was a boy, and a cute boy at that. and you know what the coolest thing was, he told me that he went to school for 3 years, did NO chemistry and still gets paid what a nurse does, AND they are in demand. like how unfair is that. The coolest thing is they don't just give x-rays. they do ultrasounds and CT scans and all that fun stuff. I mean put yourself in th eposiion where your giving an ultrasound to a pregnant woman and she sees/ hears her first child's heartbeat for the first time. thats in itself would be uber rewarding. if you havnt guessed yet i want to be a nurse, because, when you help people get better, or just give them a smile and do them a favour thier opinion of you changes with that one split second, and you feel so good. That's the one feeling in the world that's my favourite. I wanna work with chronically ill (forever) kids that in one way the hospital is their home, they place where they can feel the most safe, and at ease. I want to that one person that holds their hand when they get a needle... i want to be the one person that made thier time on this big planet earth better. and this is starting to get really cheezy :P so ill stop.
On to a better topic YOUTUBE! so ive recently discovered Dave Days, who is the COOLEST PERSON EVER. im pretty sure when we meet we'll be bet friends forever.. as he loves miley cyrus but im gunna hit the hay.. sorry about all the spelling/grammatical errors, it is late and i am tired!

just remember ~An amateur built the ark, professionals built the Titanic~

Later Days,
Kait <3